Porky's

Truly, thou art damned like an ill roasted wing

Bankside - 25 June 2014.

The desirability of originality in art is a relatively new construct. Back in Elizabethan times, borrowing from other works throughout history was seen as the norm. So much so that England's most celebrated literary icon William Shakespeare has been accused of never writing a fully original plot in his life, and 'avoiding any unnecessary invention'.

So it's quite fitting that our latest stop on the barbeque tour of London is on Bankside, next to the Globe Theatre. For at Porky's new restaurant you will definitely not find any wheels being re-invented.

Pig logo? Check. Menu in courier font? Check. Exposed brickwork? Check. Americana on the walls? Check (in this case photos of blues and soul musicians. Plus Morgan Freeman). Rock n Roll soundtrack? Chickity-check.

That's not to say it's always a bad thing. When we visit - at about 6pm on a Wednesday - the place is open and bright, without being crammed in like you are at some BBQ restaurants. It's busy without being overly noisy or boisterous, and the service is friendly - if unspectacular - which makes for a pleasant dining experience.

However, the food never rises above pleasant. For starters we go with wings and pulled pork croquettes. The croquettes suffer badly from being far too much croquette and not nearly enough pulled pork. There's a good crunch to the coating, the potato is creamy and smooth and there's a hint of smokyness throughout. But you could easily be forgiven for not noticing any meat in there. Slathering them in the chunky chilli sauce on the table (the best of three - others being a vinegary 'Sop Mop' and an uninspiring watery barbeque sauce) makes them better. But more meat definitely would not go amiss.

The wings are... not good. Baked rather than fried, they lack the crisp outer coating I prefer on my wings. And they are over-cooked to the point of being tough and dry. I'm struggling to remember being served wings in BBQ restaurant that have been such a let down. While the Blues Kitchen ones were too salty, they were at least cooked well. The only positive here is the sauce they are covered in, which hits all the right barbeque notes - molasses thick, sweet, smoky and with a bit of spice. It's good, but not good enough to save these wings of disappointment.

Our mains fare slightly better. First up the key point to make is on size - their ribs & tips dinner is huge. I've banged on about value before, and my first reaction is that this right here is value - £9.95 for a bumper portion of meat, accompanied by pickles (including some pickled beetroot, which I find to be a pleasant variation from the well worn themes.) - sides are extra. The barbeque sauce makes a welcome return, there appears to be a good char on the meat, and the aroma is heavy on the smoke. So at first glance, it all suggests we're in for a treat.

Only we aren't really. My assumption is that rather than slow-and-low these are cooked average paced-and-high. The smoky aroma does not equal the flavour permeating the meat - there's no deep red smoke ring, and the meat isn't the fall-apart-tender I want from my BBQ. It comes off the bone eventually, but only after some coaxing. The pork tastes porky - and a touch on the fatty-side, again making me question the cooking times. But once liberally coated in sauce, it's not quite the cardinal sin the wings were. And there's loads of them, so by the end I'm stuffed.

So to sum up: It looks like BBQ, it tastes mostly like BBQ, it's served in a place that screams BBQ at you and it's good value. In a corner of London lacking in BBQ options but with a overload of hungry tourists, it should do well. Yet like Shakespeare, it's not original, and I just didn't find it that interesting.

The French House

Mange tout, Rodney. Mange tout.

East Dulwich - 20 June 2014

In The French House, East Dulwich has a lovely new addition to its range of of eateries and abreuvoirs (means watering hole in French, apparently. Hopefully it translates...)

While not having the most unique name ever (Google count: 4 'The French House's in London alone), the atmosphere does stand out. The owners say that the aim is for a 60s/70s Yé-Yé -style cafe-bar. Wikipedia informs me that ye-ye comes from yeah-yeah, and was the French era of pop music that gave the world Serge Gainsbourg & Brigit Bardot. What this means in practice is walls covered with magazine covers of effortlessly cool young French folk (well, young 40/50 years ago) and a soundtrack featuring a cover of The Rolling Stones' 'Paint It Black' (my favourite Stones tune) en francais. It's fun.

In a rare move for something French, there's no pretensions about the French House (obligatory English joke about the French there). And that extends to the menu, which is pretty rustic. There is a strong emphasis on cheese, bread and meat, with a few classics thrown in. 

We had escargots (when in Rome...), foie gras and a degustation de fromage. A solid local café, it is delicious - so long as you're not a lactose-intolerant coeliac vegetarian... And it's insanely good value at £6-£7 each. The snails were, as one would expect, basically textured garlic butter. And that is why I will always love escargot. So they were a hit. 

The foie gras less so - you get three slices of duck foie gras, but they were a little on the bland-side. Smooth as butter, but lacking the rich liver-y flavour. Although the fig & gewurtztraminer jam that came with it was a sweet and sharp counter-point to the pâté.

The best was the cheeseboard - 5 different cheeses, all in generous portions, with pickles, more jam & more crusty bread. Although, the promised apples and grapes to accompany were missing. 'Small' it was not. OK, so the emmental was typically rubbery and the 'stinky french cheese' had an unpleasant acidic after-taste, but that's by-the-by. Compared with some places (*cough* Boqueria *cough*) five large lumps of varied cheese is a steal at £7 (and for £12 you get what appears to be as much cheese as you'd find in a typical Tesco Metro). 

A cheeseboard, one of the charcuterie boards (also £7) and a big glass of red wine, and I'd be a happy man. Albeit one who is a step or two closer to a heart attack. 

Also on the menu were some mighty impressive looking tartines, a huge thin flatbread, smothered in cheese and ham. The other people on our table seemed to be loving it. They were £8. Have I mentioned this is great value?

To round things off, the gf ordered a clafoutis for dessert. This was a squashed, dense example of the baked dessert, but sweet and satisfying and packed with raspberries.

In short - a fun, friendly, fabulously French addition to East Dulwich's increasingly appealing hang outs. I'll be back.

www.thefrenchhouse.co

Boqueria

‘La Boqueria’ is a famous food market on the bustling Las Ramblas in the heart of Barcelona, surrounded by street performers, artists, and grand Gaudi architecture. Its namesake ‘Boqueria’ is a tapas bar on Acre Lane in the Brixton/Clapham borderlands, surrounded by budget supermarkets, chicken shops and a Grand Union.

Although different in terms of location, Boqueria restaurant styles itself as an authentic Barcelona-style tapas bar, and since opening in 2012 has garnered a number of good reviews, commendations and awards. So it was well overdue a visit when the gf and I rocked up.

My only experience of tapas in Barcelona was in a proper spit-n-sawdust style local joint, hidden in the gothic quarter (Bar Celta Pulperia, if you’re interested. Check it out, it is increïble). That was a very different vibe to Boqueria. Now, we are sat in the back dining room, which is bright and buzzy with (authentic) pictures of Barcelona on the walls. You can also dine at the bar for what I assume must be an even more authentic experience. The staff are all authentically Spanish (I didn’t ask if they were Catalan), and the whole vibe is friendly and relaxed. Much like I’ve found Barcelona to be. Authentic, then…

But what of the food? Despite it’s ‘Cheap Eats’ Time Out Award, the prices are definitely at the upper end of the tapas scale, with most dishes being in the £7-£10 range. For that price, I expect something exceptional. And in parts, Boqueria delivered.

The best dish was one of the specials – Oxtail stuffed with foie gras and served with Mediterranean vegetables. The meat was so insanely tender just touching it with a fork caused it to fall to pieces, making the presentation of the two perfect rolls some kind of sorcery. The best part was the sauce – rich and packed full of meaty flavour. It was so good we didn't let the waitress clear away the plate until it was licked clean. Beautiful. But meagre. For £10 you'd want one more meat, and the Med veggies consisted of two thin slices of courgette and half a mushroom - less 'accompaniment', more 'garnish'.

We also enjoyed the seabass, served on a wheat risotto with scallop & parmesan cream. The fish was perfectly cooked, lovely firm flesh topped by crispy skin. The risotto was creamy, with a strong taste of the sea but with the smallest scallops in the history of things. They were served with the coral attached, which divides opinions at times, but I saw it as a good thing. If only because I wouldn't have seen where the scallops were at all otherwise... The strawberry garnish was an unusual addition. I'm not always convinced by sweet & savoury in the same dish, but here it was made an interesting counterpoint to the saltiness of the shellfish and cheese. A nicely constructed dish.

Falling into an okay-if-unspectacular category would be the Iberico pork. The pork was tasty, but in my opinion, too thin and so had been over-cooked. Not even the truffle purèe (with foie apparently, not that we could taste) could save the dryness. I was introduced to beautiful medium Iberico pork at Foxlow, and after that, I found this a touch disappointing.

We also had some croquettas, which were croquettas. Crispy, packed with cheese and ham. Nice, but no different to any other tapas place I've eaten at.

The cheese board (slate) was a bit of a non-event... While perfectly fine, the cheeses were very samey, and the single morsel of the creamy blue cheese looked a bit sad and lonely. 

Plus there was no bread or biscuits with it. Which while annoying, did mean we ordered the pan con ali-oli, which answered that eternal mystery "why are there no vampires on Acre Lane?" Garlic-y goodness.

While the mains were a tad hit and miss, the desserts were strong. Firstly, a crema catalana - the spanish take on creme brûlée. Which is exactly what it is. Firm, cinnamon-spiced custard, with a crunchy caramelised sugar top. Lovely stuff.

And finally we had Santiago almond cake. Which was cakey. And almondy. And moist. (It was delicious, but I can't remember more than that - the wine and sherries by this point were probably taking their toll...)

So in conclusion, this is a fair example of the tapas genre. The dishes that are a little off-piste from the usual fare were a real delight, so I would recommend a visit. But maybe for a special occasion, because it wasn't cheap. And for that reason I'll probably stick with Gremio (also featuring authentic Spaniards) for a quick tapas fix in the Brix.

http://boqueriatapas.com/