Porky's

Truly, thou art damned like an ill roasted wing

Bankside - 25 June 2014.

The desirability of originality in art is a relatively new construct. Back in Elizabethan times, borrowing from other works throughout history was seen as the norm. So much so that England's most celebrated literary icon William Shakespeare has been accused of never writing a fully original plot in his life, and 'avoiding any unnecessary invention'.

So it's quite fitting that our latest stop on the barbeque tour of London is on Bankside, next to the Globe Theatre. For at Porky's new restaurant you will definitely not find any wheels being re-invented.

Pig logo? Check. Menu in courier font? Check. Exposed brickwork? Check. Americana on the walls? Check (in this case photos of blues and soul musicians. Plus Morgan Freeman). Rock n Roll soundtrack? Chickity-check.

That's not to say it's always a bad thing. When we visit - at about 6pm on a Wednesday - the place is open and bright, without being crammed in like you are at some BBQ restaurants. It's busy without being overly noisy or boisterous, and the service is friendly - if unspectacular - which makes for a pleasant dining experience.

However, the food never rises above pleasant. For starters we go with wings and pulled pork croquettes. The croquettes suffer badly from being far too much croquette and not nearly enough pulled pork. There's a good crunch to the coating, the potato is creamy and smooth and there's a hint of smokyness throughout. But you could easily be forgiven for not noticing any meat in there. Slathering them in the chunky chilli sauce on the table (the best of three - others being a vinegary 'Sop Mop' and an uninspiring watery barbeque sauce) makes them better. But more meat definitely would not go amiss.

The wings are... not good. Baked rather than fried, they lack the crisp outer coating I prefer on my wings. And they are over-cooked to the point of being tough and dry. I'm struggling to remember being served wings in BBQ restaurant that have been such a let down. While the Blues Kitchen ones were too salty, they were at least cooked well. The only positive here is the sauce they are covered in, which hits all the right barbeque notes - molasses thick, sweet, smoky and with a bit of spice. It's good, but not good enough to save these wings of disappointment.

Our mains fare slightly better. First up the key point to make is on size - their ribs & tips dinner is huge. I've banged on about value before, and my first reaction is that this right here is value - £9.95 for a bumper portion of meat, accompanied by pickles (including some pickled beetroot, which I find to be a pleasant variation from the well worn themes.) - sides are extra. The barbeque sauce makes a welcome return, there appears to be a good char on the meat, and the aroma is heavy on the smoke. So at first glance, it all suggests we're in for a treat.

Only we aren't really. My assumption is that rather than slow-and-low these are cooked average paced-and-high. The smoky aroma does not equal the flavour permeating the meat - there's no deep red smoke ring, and the meat isn't the fall-apart-tender I want from my BBQ. It comes off the bone eventually, but only after some coaxing. The pork tastes porky - and a touch on the fatty-side, again making me question the cooking times. But once liberally coated in sauce, it's not quite the cardinal sin the wings were. And there's loads of them, so by the end I'm stuffed.

So to sum up: It looks like BBQ, it tastes mostly like BBQ, it's served in a place that screams BBQ at you and it's good value. In a corner of London lacking in BBQ options but with a overload of hungry tourists, it should do well. Yet like Shakespeare, it's not original, and I just didn't find it that interesting.

The French House

Mange tout, Rodney. Mange tout.

East Dulwich - 20 June 2014

In The French House, East Dulwich has a lovely new addition to its range of of eateries and abreuvoirs (means watering hole in French, apparently. Hopefully it translates...)

While not having the most unique name ever (Google count: 4 'The French House's in London alone), the atmosphere does stand out. The owners say that the aim is for a 60s/70s Yé-Yé -style cafe-bar. Wikipedia informs me that ye-ye comes from yeah-yeah, and was the French era of pop music that gave the world Serge Gainsbourg & Brigit Bardot. What this means in practice is walls covered with magazine covers of effortlessly cool young French folk (well, young 40/50 years ago) and a soundtrack featuring a cover of The Rolling Stones' 'Paint It Black' (my favourite Stones tune) en francais. It's fun.

In a rare move for something French, there's no pretensions about the French House (obligatory English joke about the French there). And that extends to the menu, which is pretty rustic. There is a strong emphasis on cheese, bread and meat, with a few classics thrown in. 

We had escargots (when in Rome...), foie gras and a degustation de fromage. A solid local café, it is delicious - so long as you're not a lactose-intolerant coeliac vegetarian... And it's insanely good value at £6-£7 each. The snails were, as one would expect, basically textured garlic butter. And that is why I will always love escargot. So they were a hit. 

The foie gras less so - you get three slices of duck foie gras, but they were a little on the bland-side. Smooth as butter, but lacking the rich liver-y flavour. Although the fig & gewurtztraminer jam that came with it was a sweet and sharp counter-point to the pâté.

The best was the cheeseboard - 5 different cheeses, all in generous portions, with pickles, more jam & more crusty bread. Although, the promised apples and grapes to accompany were missing. 'Small' it was not. OK, so the emmental was typically rubbery and the 'stinky french cheese' had an unpleasant acidic after-taste, but that's by-the-by. Compared with some places (*cough* Boqueria *cough*) five large lumps of varied cheese is a steal at £7 (and for £12 you get what appears to be as much cheese as you'd find in a typical Tesco Metro). 

A cheeseboard, one of the charcuterie boards (also £7) and a big glass of red wine, and I'd be a happy man. Albeit one who is a step or two closer to a heart attack. 

Also on the menu were some mighty impressive looking tartines, a huge thin flatbread, smothered in cheese and ham. The other people on our table seemed to be loving it. They were £8. Have I mentioned this is great value?

To round things off, the gf ordered a clafoutis for dessert. This was a squashed, dense example of the baked dessert, but sweet and satisfying and packed with raspberries.

In short - a fun, friendly, fabulously French addition to East Dulwich's increasingly appealing hang outs. I'll be back.

www.thefrenchhouse.co

Boqueria

‘La Boqueria’ is a famous food market on the bustling Las Ramblas in the heart of Barcelona, surrounded by street performers, artists, and grand Gaudi architecture. Its namesake ‘Boqueria’ is a tapas bar on Acre Lane in the Brixton/Clapham borderlands, surrounded by budget supermarkets, chicken shops and a Grand Union.

Although different in terms of location, Boqueria restaurant styles itself as an authentic Barcelona-style tapas bar, and since opening in 2012 has garnered a number of good reviews, commendations and awards. So it was well overdue a visit when the gf and I rocked up.

My only experience of tapas in Barcelona was in a proper spit-n-sawdust style local joint, hidden in the gothic quarter (Bar Celta Pulperia, if you’re interested. Check it out, it is increïble). That was a very different vibe to Boqueria. Now, we are sat in the back dining room, which is bright and buzzy with (authentic) pictures of Barcelona on the walls. You can also dine at the bar for what I assume must be an even more authentic experience. The staff are all authentically Spanish (I didn’t ask if they were Catalan), and the whole vibe is friendly and relaxed. Much like I’ve found Barcelona to be. Authentic, then…

But what of the food? Despite it’s ‘Cheap Eats’ Time Out Award, the prices are definitely at the upper end of the tapas scale, with most dishes being in the £7-£10 range. For that price, I expect something exceptional. And in parts, Boqueria delivered.

The best dish was one of the specials – Oxtail stuffed with foie gras and served with Mediterranean vegetables. The meat was so insanely tender just touching it with a fork caused it to fall to pieces, making the presentation of the two perfect rolls some kind of sorcery. The best part was the sauce – rich and packed full of meaty flavour. It was so good we didn't let the waitress clear away the plate until it was licked clean. Beautiful. But meagre. For £10 you'd want one more meat, and the Med veggies consisted of two thin slices of courgette and half a mushroom - less 'accompaniment', more 'garnish'.

We also enjoyed the seabass, served on a wheat risotto with scallop & parmesan cream. The fish was perfectly cooked, lovely firm flesh topped by crispy skin. The risotto was creamy, with a strong taste of the sea but with the smallest scallops in the history of things. They were served with the coral attached, which divides opinions at times, but I saw it as a good thing. If only because I wouldn't have seen where the scallops were at all otherwise... The strawberry garnish was an unusual addition. I'm not always convinced by sweet & savoury in the same dish, but here it was made an interesting counterpoint to the saltiness of the shellfish and cheese. A nicely constructed dish.

Falling into an okay-if-unspectacular category would be the Iberico pork. The pork was tasty, but in my opinion, too thin and so had been over-cooked. Not even the truffle purèe (with foie apparently, not that we could taste) could save the dryness. I was introduced to beautiful medium Iberico pork at Foxlow, and after that, I found this a touch disappointing.

We also had some croquettas, which were croquettas. Crispy, packed with cheese and ham. Nice, but no different to any other tapas place I've eaten at.

The cheese board (slate) was a bit of a non-event... While perfectly fine, the cheeses were very samey, and the single morsel of the creamy blue cheese looked a bit sad and lonely. 

Plus there was no bread or biscuits with it. Which while annoying, did mean we ordered the pan con ali-oli, which answered that eternal mystery "why are there no vampires on Acre Lane?" Garlic-y goodness.

While the mains were a tad hit and miss, the desserts were strong. Firstly, a crema catalana - the spanish take on creme brûlée. Which is exactly what it is. Firm, cinnamon-spiced custard, with a crunchy caramelised sugar top. Lovely stuff.

And finally we had Santiago almond cake. Which was cakey. And almondy. And moist. (It was delicious, but I can't remember more than that - the wine and sherries by this point were probably taking their toll...)

So in conclusion, this is a fair example of the tapas genre. The dishes that are a little off-piste from the usual fare were a real delight, so I would recommend a visit. But maybe for a special occasion, because it wasn't cheap. And for that reason I'll probably stick with Gremio (also featuring authentic Spaniards) for a quick tapas fix in the Brix.

http://boqueriatapas.com/

Auction Against Hunger

Who says famine has to be depressing?

22 May 2014 - Dalston Yard

What a difference a couple of weeks (and flushing toilets) can make… After the gripes we had with Chilli Chilli Bang Bang, we returned to Dalston Yard for the Street Feast/Action Against Hunger charity food-fest that is Auction Against Hunger. And it was a-bloody-mazing.

The event was, as the clue in the title suggests, ostensibly about an auction to raise money to help end child hunger around the world. Chefs, restaurants and celebrities donate their time and expertise to form unique experiences (lunch with Wogan at Merchant’s Tavern, anyone?) that the great and good bid on in both silent and live auctions that form part of the evening’s entertainment, which included a DJ set from Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

And this being a Tweat Up shindig, that is only part of the story – the evening is also about getting in an exciting line up of chefs to cook up a street food storm, all included in the ticket price, along with a healthy dose of vibes (and/or booze) on the side.

This time we were among the first through the doors.  That was even half an hour before food was served, so it gave us a chance to scope the lie of the land, enjoy a couple of drinks and secure ourselves prime position to get stuck straight into the food.

Just a couple...

And that involved sitting next to Ben Tish serving up the Opera Tavern’s Iberico Ham & Foie Gras burger to beat the inevitable queues. 

The burger was a previous occupant of Young & Foodish’s London top ten, so we were excited to give it a bash. Based on the patty, I can see why this was on that list – beautifully browned on the outside, perfectly pink inside, with the foie gras adding richness and juiciness, if not a huge amount of flavour. It also had a tangy sweet onion relish and parmesan shavings adding savoury saltiness. Plus, it was served with a pickled chilli. And I love those things. However, the bun was hard and dry. Maybe that’s one reason why it’s no longer on Y&F’s list… But that said, we were off to a strong start.

Next up we had the Korean pulled pork with apple kimchi by Neil Rankin, fresh from his stint on Great British Menu. And this was possibly the savoury dish of the day. Soft and juicy pork that was sweet and spicy, with strong smoky notes. This was contrasted by the sour and crunchy kimchi. A delight of textures and flavours.




Mr. Eatings has been a big fan of Neil Rankin’s work since his days as head chef at PittCue, and had one of the best roasts ever at Smokehouse N1. The pork is a side dish on the menu there, so would be well worth checking out if you find yourself in the area.

Mixing it up with seafood next, we had krupuk-coated soft shell crab in a Singapore-style sauce with pickled cucumber by Anna Hansen from The Modern Pantry. We had never heard of ‘krupuk’ before, turns out that they are deep-fried Indonesian rice crackers. And on this evidence, we hadn’t missed much. It was like eating something (exactly what, was up for debate as the delicate sweet seafood flavour you expect of crab had gone AWOL) covered in stale Rice Krispies and cardboard - exactly as tasty as that sounds.

But, onwards and upwards. And another strong taco from Breddos: 10hr chipotle Dexter short rib with bone marrow pico, smoked morello cherry jam on a blue corn tortilla with pickled habaneros. 

The beef was tender and, well, beefy, with the smoke-notes you’d want from anything cooked for half a day with chipotle. It had parmesan stirred through it when re-heated here, which added depth and an extra-savoury saltiness, offset by the sweet jam. There wasn’t much chilli fire throughout the meat, but adding the pickled habaneros laid out in a fiery bowl for personal taste and adjustment, fixed that - and the gf went big with these - so our tacos were pretty piquant, which made me happy. And made us hiccup. The blue chip tortilla added a visual twist, but could have used a few more seconds being heated through on the grill, as it was cold and stodgy. Overall, this was reminiscent of their Taco Wars 2 winner, but didn’t quite hit those heights. However, there’s no shame in being outclassed by your own champ.

Then came a crab doughnut from Nuno Mendes of the Chiltern Firehouse. The crab was well executed, but the doughnut wasn’t much to write home about in our view – just a bit bland and dry. We’ve since heard people rave about these on twitter. We weren’t enthused. Horses for courses.

Sat Bains’ Chicken Liver Muesli up next. We'd first come across Sat when he was on Masterchef: The Professionals (the thinking man’s Masterchef), challenging the preconception that in this country, to be a head chef you must be a temperamental dick. 

Here he was showcasing one of his signature dishes: nitro-frozen chicken liver mousse mixed in with crunchy oats, grains, and cranberries, with a little apricot jam hidden underneath. ‘A deconstructed liver pate and toast – all the ingredients of a dish you recognise but yet somehow different’, Bains described it as to Mrs. Eatings. A mad mash-up indeed of textures, temperatures and tastes that was a confusing yet rewarding experience. 

Our final savoury dish was 'Marmite Royale' by Pascal Aussignac of Club Gascon. Top marks here for the presentation, dishing up a duck flan that was as light as a (duck) feather, smooth like silk and creamier than, um, cream, in a marmite pot with crusty brown bread fingers to dip. This was an indulgent delight. The yeasty, iron-rich marmite sauce layered on top adding an umami unctuousness to the mousse (which is what it was more than a flan, IMHO). Mr. Eatings is usually ambivalent about marmite, but this was special.

That rounded off our savouries nicely, and the first part of dessert was by far and away the best: 1235 Donuts. 

In an unusual twist they were square. Square? Those crazy fools! And some of the best donuts I’ve had the pleasure of stuffing in my gob. In your face, Krispy Kreme! Soft and light like square sugar coated clouds, and also almost completely grease-free, so maybe weren’t quite so bad for us. Maybe..? Unfortunately, the salted caramel was too close to being burnt with an unpleasant bitter after-taste. But the lemon curd was creamy with a real fresh citrus punch.

And then to finish; Paul A Young’s chocolate creation, which we heard someone describe as being a pub in a tub.

The best part was the perfectly executed chocolate sauce poured on top (if a little meagrely); it was glossy and loaded with cocoa. The chocolate covered pork scratching was also enjoyable – very similar in idea to a turbo-pretzel flip. But porkier. Less mind-bending was the lolly. Given the power of its peanuts, we really weren't feeling it. Then, finally, we come to the BrewDog 5am Saint ganache, which we’ll file under ‘must have seemed like a good idea at the time’. After a life-time of experimentation, Mr. Eatings is yet to be convinced beer and chocolate works. Instead, here he was just reminded of a time at a party aged 17, he thought he’d invented the next big thing by sticking instant hot chocolate in cans of lager. And then woke up the following day to find the house littered with open untouched cans of chocolate beer-shake.  Not a food memory he particularly wanted to relive…

So that was our action at Auction Against Hunger. All that was left was to soak up the vibes, and in the process we learned a couple of things: first, Sophie Ellis-Bextor taught me that if standing around playing on your phone looking bored is DJing, then we must be the next Carl Cox; and the second is that the going rate for dinner with Wogan is £3,000.

We're still not sure there isn’t something intrinsically ironic about trying to fight global hunger by getting a load of chino’d Londoners together to eat and drink themselves stupid. But as the night raised over £100,000, we'll gloss over it. And the eating and drinking was a lot of fun. Which is what really matters, right?

Oh, and this finally happened:

The Blues Kitchen

Shake, Rattle n Roll

17 April 2014 - Shoreditch

Being a food blogger now, part of my mission must be to boldly go to new frontiers of the restaurantiverse. And so it was with that in mind that the gf and I headed on down to the latest barbecue in the east: The Blues Kitchen in Shoreditch.

I had been to the original Camden joint before for a drink (and was very impressed with the extensive bourbon list and a 16 year-old blues guitarist on the open mic who could really wail) but hadn’t really heard much about the food. But when the internet started making noise about a new place serving  juicy Texan BBQ washed down with hard shakes - the kind of siren song to lead me on to any rock (n roll) – we decided it needed checking out. And we were in for quite the treat.

First let’s make mention of the venue. In its previous incarnation, it was The Music Bar – a cavernous, minimalist, Shoreditch hangout I only ever visited in the middle of the afternoon when it seemed empty and a bit soulless (although that didn’t stop me enjoying a large number of strong Belgian beers there). Following this re-fit they’ve clearly tried to turn the soul-quotient up to 11. And I think it works. The island bar has now been copper-topped and to contrast the still-bare brickwork, they’ve added shabby-chic tiling, whilst the restaurant booths are immaculately upholstered to add a nice homely feel. They’ve even – and this is an excellent touch – stuck an airstream caravan in there that you can hire for private parties. Even the trip down to the toilets (possibly the second longest in London after the Covent Garden Big Easy) has been decked out with corrugated iron and posters of blues legends to give it that dive-bar aesthetic. But, this is far from a dive…

OK, with that out the way, let’s deal with the important issue: the food. Overall it was up there. We went for our usual BBQ-benchmarks of pork belly ribs (slow smoked for 12-hours), buffalo wings, and onion rings, along with their burnt ends as the second main and a side of mac n cheese.

The ribs were pretty special. You get three massive, meaty ribs for your money which, whilst not being the most tender I’ve ever eaten, are juicy. The pork is full of flavour - well seasoned with a decent smokiness, that could be stronger but is still noticeable. Eaten on their own they would be satisfying enough, but what elevates them is The Blues Kitchen’s own barbecue sauce: a treacle-thick, sweet and smoky effort with quite a kick to it. It’s definitely up there with the best in London (hi, Bodean’s Chipotle BBQ sauce!). Ask for a second pot of it – the gf secured us three - you’re gonna want to drown everything in that shit, yo.

The burnt ends were tasty too. I know people that rave about the burnt ends at Bodean’s, but I have found them to be a little dry. Here you get a big bowl of fall-apart-tender, mouthful-sized chunks of charred brisket, liberally doused in their beer & hickory BBQ sauce - a deeply rich and meaty number closer to gravy than the (amazing) BBQ sauce that comes with the ribs. It too was delightful, but not so delightful that I didn’t also add in the amazing rib sauce. Have I mentioned that the BBQ sauce was amazing? Anyway - I’ve not had brisket that tasty since the first year of Pitt Cue’s truck on the South Bank (let’s pause briefly to remember those special days…) and it made me happy.

Both these mains came with a vinegary slaw and skin-on fries, crisp on the outside but woefully under-seasoned. Also, they were probably only once-cooked which in the post-Heston age, is just plain lazy.

The wings and the other sides were less great. The onion rings were anaemic-looking and the mac n cheese solid and dry. The wings were well cooked, with a crispy coating and tender meat, but an unpleasant amount of salt in the buffalo sauce. With a mild heat, it was thick and creamy but too salty where there should have been sweet and vinegary sharpness. This downer was counter-balanced by the blue cheese dipping sauce. It had a shit-load of creamy cheese in it, which is only to be applauded.

So good I lost focus

Finally I’ll get to the real star here – the hard shakes. We ordered the ‘Caramel Captain’, a chocolatey fudge & rum delight that is probably the best milkshake I’ve ever had. Which, for £8, it should be. But it was immense. I’d go back just for the shake, let alone the tasty BBQ.

This place is a winner on two key points – taste and value. We came hungry and left full, with a doggy-bag, all for around £30pp with service (which was slow to begin with, but did pick up).

While I’ve never been to the US, so can’t make any claims about the authenticity of the Texan BBQ on offer, I can vouch for it’s ‘deliciousity’. I enjoyed it and would recommend The Blues Kitchen to all. Which I guess is what I’ve just done. I’d love to go back and see some live music there. And try their Alligator Bites. Maybe next time my Dad is in town; thus far, his only experience of BBQ was when we went to Red Dog Saloon a couple of years ago and I need to redeem that. Given The Blues Kitchen is the place that Red Dog wishes it was, and he loves the blues, this would be a decent do-over.

http://www.theblueskitchen.com/